It’s Ok to Set Boundaries at Work: How to Say “No”
I’m embarrassed how often I do things I don’t want to do because I’m afraid of looking bad. I agree to things I don’t want to do. I even suggest doing things I don’t want to do, because I think it will look bad if I don’t. Then I have deep regrets.
If I’m aware of this practice, why do I keep doing it, over and over and over? I suspect the need to look good and be liked is so pervasive, it over-powers reason and self-talk. Telling myself, “Don’t do it. You will regret this,” doesn’t help. The need for approval is all-powerful (to me).
My old boss told me many years ago, “Your need to be liked will kill you as a manager,” and he was right. It’s why I can’t interview my own candidates. I want them to like me too.
I suspect I’m not alone here. I lot of us say yes when we want to say no. We extend ourselves and regret it later.
What can be done, at an organizational level, to prevent ourselves and fellow employees from over-extending?
- Sanction, at a team and organizational level, that sometimes it’s ok to say no.
- Try saying, “Here’s what I can do…” or “Here is what we will do” when you don’t want to say “no”.
- Suggest that at times people take 24-hours before agreeing to take on a new task or project. Pause before committing.
- Make room for negotiation, so people can say yes on terms that work for them.
Speak your truth and know that it’s ok to set boundaries. Boundaries prevent burnout.
Tags: how to say no, how to say no at work, Negotiating at work, Setting boundaries at work
This information on setting boundaries and saying no was a perfect reminder for me. As a life long people pleaser, I too found myself going along to get along while resentment built. This will always be an area of concern for me but having more tools will help me continue to make strides and save my sanity.