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Create Your Life – Life the Life You Desire

create your lifeI’m pretty sure at least one person reading this blog has a magnet or card hung at her desk with the words, “What are you going to do with your one precious life?” As far as we know, we only get one go around. So while the question may be overused, what are you going to do to create your life with the time you’re given?

I have an existential friend who is trying to convince me that there is no such thing as time. I am not persuaded. All we have is time, and it’s the only thing we can’t get back. You can gain weight and lose weight, make money and lose it, make friends and lose them, but you can never get back your time. So what are you doing with your time?

I had the privilege of being interviewed by Greg Giesen, one of my graduate school professors, about my new book. During the interview Greg asked how I define success. I answered with, “If I am pursuing what’s most important to me, I am successful [living my desired life].” If I’m doing what I think I should be doing or what someone else wants me to do, then I’m living someone else’s life.

You create your life. A few questions to consider:

  • What do you love doing most? How often are you doing that?
  • What’s most important to you in life? Does what’s most important to you make up a majority of where your time and energy goes?
  • How much time do you spending doing things you think you should be doing, but don’t really want to be doing?
  • How much time do you spending doing things someone else wants you to do?

I’m not suggesting you live an indulgent life without compromise. If you’re in relationship with other people, you will, at times, do things you don’t want to do. But I’m hoping that doing things out of obligation is not what your life’s about.

Not everyone in your life will approve of your choices. That’s ok. This is your life. Don’t knowingly harm anyone or anything. Besides that, I don’t know of any rules, except for this, don’t get to the end of the road and wonder “what if.” Create your life.


Shari Harley is the founder and President of Candid Culture, a Denver-based training firm that is bringing candor back to the workplace, making it easier to give feedback at work. Shari is the author of the business communication book How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work. She is a keynote speaker at conferences and does training throughout the U.S. Learn more about Shari Harley and Candid Culture’s training programs at

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4 Responses to “Create Your Life – Life the Life You Desire”

  1. Amber says:

    Wise words from a wise woman! I so love reading your blog.

  2. Austin says:

    Shari, keep on going. You are simply too smart, too valuable, and too interesting not to succeed.

  3. Ginger says:

    This is a great reminder! Seven years ago I lost my spouse unexpectedly. For a long time after the loss I was true to the “living my desired life” philosophy. However, the further it gets from the loss, the more I need to be reminded of “living my desired life”.

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