We’ve all heard the expression, “it doesn’t hurt to ask.” But what if it can and does?
While it’s true that you won’t get what you don’t ask for, it’s also true that requests help form others’ impressions of us. Some asks may seem high maintenance and create the impression that we’re difficult to work with. Other requests may create the impression that we’re out of touch or entitled. Be brave in what you ask for but also be judicious and aware of how requests may impact others.
So, what shouldn’t you ask for at work? That’s a hard question to answer. What’s appropriate in one environment may not be ok in another. I’ll provide some guidance for most work environments below.
Don’t ask for anything that requires your boss to break the rules or treat you differently from other employees. This may seem obvious, but I’ve been asked for things that I couldn’t legally provide. A candidate asked me to write her a monthly check towards her personal health insurance plan versus her participating in our company-sponsored health insurance plan. It’s an innocent request but put me in a very awkward position and I said no.
Here are a few do’s and don’ts to follow when making requests:
Don’t ask for or take time off during the busiest times of the year. Ask your boss what those busy times are and then plan accordingly.
Don’t ask for exceptions unless you’re desperate – being paid in advance to cover unforeseen personal expenses, time off you haven’t earned, unless It’s regularly permitted in your company, using company resources for personal use. All of these may seem acceptable in the moment, but if they make your boss bend or break the rules, they’ll likely make you look bad too.
Be brave. Be bold. And be careful what you ask for. Your reputation is more important than a request that feels important right now but will be insignificant by next year.