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I’ve worked for people who were crazy, had quirky interpersonal skills and who spoke only in cryptic analogies. It may sound trite, but I’ve learned something from every boss– the under educated, lacking in experience and emotionally volatile. All of them were good – at something.
My second boss did not have the education or experience to do the job for which he was hired. I was a trainer and there was nothing he could teach me about training. But he was really good politically, and I was really bad. Not only did I not play the game, I didn’t even know which game we were playing. I learned how to navigate a corporate environment from him, and it’s something I write and teach about today. He made me a more savvy careerist. And I taught him a thing or two about training.
My next boss had weird interpersonal skills. He typically had a Cheshire-Cat-like-grin plastered on his face that made all of his direct reports question his authenticity and decide he was downright odd. But he really knew how to package and present information. He told me I was all substance and no sizzle. I actually thought it was a compliment – all meat and no fluff, until I didn’t get a raise one year because I didn’t promote my accomplishments well enough. The Cheshire Cat taught me how to package and present information so I could sell my ideas and in turn get resources to create change.
Make every situation work –for you. You may not get what you want or were expecting from your boss, but she is sure to have something you need. Look for what she does effectively. Watch her in meetings. See the reports she produces. Watch what she is able to sell and how she works with difficult people.
I assure you the day will come that you will need that skill and will be grateful that your worst boss, with little education and poor interpersonal skills was a good example… of something.
Every year on September 11th I appreciate being alive and wonder why I’m not dead. I worked in the World Trade Center on September 11th 2001. Tower Two. I was out of town that day. I easily could have been there, but was not. And each year I ask myself the same questions.
How is the world different because I lived on September 11th when others died? What have I done in the last 12 months to make the world smaller and to build community each time I get on a plane, walk in a store, meet someone new and have a conversation? Where have I played small? Said yes when I meant no? Said no when I wanted to say yes? Or didn’t say anything at all?
The further we get from September 11th the more it impacts me. I’m struck by the people who died and didn’t finish what they started. I’m struck by human being’s continued approach to solving problems with violence. And each year I debate how to mark the day.
I think about marking the day privately, in my own way. But I always feel compelled to reach out. For me September 11th is the outcome of a lack of community and thus it is a public conversation.
Each year I reach out to my friends and colleagues at OppenheimerFunds who shared the days after September 11th. I let them know I’m grateful for them and I’m happy they’re alive. I remember my mother’s panicked call needing to confirm that I was indeed out of town on September 11th, and what it must be like for a parent to fear her child is in harm’s way. And then I reflect on my year.
Perhaps September 11th is my day of atonement. It is the day every year on which I reflect on my contribution to the world and how the world is or is not different because I am in it. What difference have I made, will I make? What am I doing that I love and who am I doing it with?
I will leave you with this. What are you doing that’s important to you, today? What are you doing that’s not? How did you make the world smaller, today?
I didn’t know that MeetUp groups were created as response to September 11th. I received this message by the Founder of Meet Ups and thought you might find it interesting.
Fellow Meetuppers,
I don’t write to our whole community often, but this week is special because it’s the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and many people don’t know that Meetup is a 9/11 baby.
Let me tell you the Meetup story. I was living a couple miles from the Twin Towers, and I was the kind of person who thought local community doesn’t matter much if we’ve got the internet and tv. The only time I thought about my neighbors was when I hoped they wouldn’t bother me.
When the towers fell, I found myself talking to more neighbors in the days after 9/11 than ever before. People said hello to neighbors (next-door and across the city) who they’d normally ignore. People were looking after each other, helping each other, and meeting up with each other. You know, being neighborly.
A lot of people were thinking that maybe 9/11 could bring people together in a lasting way. So the idea for Meetup was born: Could we use the internet to get off the internet — and grow local communities?
We didn’t know if it would work. Most people thought it was a crazy idea — especially because terrorism is designed to make people distrust one another.
A small team came together, and we launched Meetup 9 months after 9/11.
Today, almost 10 years and 10 million Meetuppers later, it’s working. Every day, thousands of Meetups happen. Moms Meetups, Small Business Meetups, Fitness Meetups… a wild variety of 100,000 Meetup Groups with not much in common — except one thing.
Every Meetup starts with people simply saying hello to neighbors. And what often happens next is still amazing to me.
They grow businesses and bands together, they teach and motivate each other, they babysit each other’s kids and find other ways to work together. They have fun and find solace together. They make friends and form powerful community. It’s powerful stuff.
It’s a wonderful revolution in local community, and it’s thanks to everyone who shows up.
Meetups aren’t about 9/11, but they may not be happening if it weren’t for 9/11.
9/11 didn’t make us too scared to go outside or talk to strangers. 9/11 didn’t rip us apart. No, we’re building new community together!!!!
The towers fell, but we rise up. And we’re just getting started with these Meetups.
Scott Heiferman (on behalf of 80 people at Meetup HQ) Co-Founder & CEO, Meetup New York City September 2011
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Managing People on September 5, 2011 by Shari Harley. Comments
Last week one of my clients called to talk about one of her employees whose work contained errors and thus appeared to be done quickly and carelessly. The employee works in the Marketing Department and posted a few items to the company’s website with commas in the wrong place, without periods at the ends of sentences and with incorrect links. The manager told me, “Her work was reliable until about two weeks ago.” And then the manager began to question herself saying, “Are my complaints valid? Maybe I’m being too picky.”
Regardless of how picky or precise our requests are, we want what we want. And trying to talk ourselves into wanting something different is a futile exercise. If you’re at an ice cream parlor and you want a double scoop of rocky road ice cream loaded with chocolate and marshmallows but decide to ‘be good’ and get lemon sorbet instead, you most likely won’t be satisfied and will probably be hunting through your kitchen cabinets at 11 p.m. at night looking for anything dipped in chocolate.
Get what you want. Don’t apologize for what you want or question if you expectations are reasonable or valid. Find someone who you think will meet your expectations, and communicate EXACTLY what you’re looking for when they begin working with you, rather than after you are disappointed.
If you work long enough you will have a boss who you don’t trust, like or respect. And your career will still grow. You will develop, succeed and move ahead. You have to. If you’re committed to your career, you have no choice.
Your career cannot be determined by the person for whom you work. If you put your success and satisfaction in someone else’s hands, you could be waiting a long time and be forever disappointed.
You may not like your boss, and it is well known that people leave managers not jobs. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve quit jobs because my boss was a jerk and I didn’t want to work from him. And it was the right thing to do. But he didn’t drive my career nor my level of success. I still learned and grew and made more money. And you can too.
How to Create Your Career:
1) Find out who can impact your career. Your boss can most likely tell you this, regardless of what you think of him.
2) Find out what those people think about you by asking for feedback.
3) Only put in front of people what you want them to see. You can’t control what anyone thinks. But you can control what they see.
4) Get good at self promotion without appearing self inflated. Make sure the people who can impact your career know your team’s most recent accomplishment. Not your accomplishment, but your team’s. That will add and aspect of humility to self promotion.
5) Ensure you have a line of communication to your boss’s boss. Don’t leave it to your boss to promote you to others. That’s your job.
Don’t wait for people to promote you, give you opportunities, or mentor you. Create your career. You choose the path. It doesn’t choose you.
My closest girlfriend ended an almost year-long, romantic relationship three weeks ago. She thought she’d feel better by now, that some of the pain would have subsided. But it hasn’t. She’s scared and lonely, and worried that he was her last shot at the life she envisions for herself. Of course, this isn’t true. A very small part of her brain knows that. But that part is on medical leave right now, and what’s running the show is the irrational part. The part that says she’ll end up like Ms. Havisham in Great Expectations (you know, that horrendous classic we had to read in 9th grade), with a house full of cobwebs and cats.
She held onto him and the relationship much longer than she should have because she was afraid – afraid of not finding someone who was a better fit for her. So she tried to make the relationship work. And many of us are doing the same thing at work.
We are in the wrong company or in the wrong job. We know it. Our boss probably knows it. Our friends and spouse know it, because they hear about it ALL THE TIME. But we’re afraid. The job market is bad. [There aren’t any good men.] You should be grateful to have a job [Any relationship is better than being alone.] The grass is always greener. [You’re too picky.]
I’m not telling you not to compromise. You won’t get everything you want at the same time. You may find a job you love, that pays so-so. Or a job three miles from your house, but there’s a lot of travel. Or the work is interesting and challenging, and you can wear jeans to work, but your boss is a jerk. There is always something.
You have to know what you need and what you want in a company and in a job. And needs and wants are not the same thing. What you want is nice to have, but not having it won’t kill your career, your spirit, or your checking account. Get clear on what you need. Until you know what you need, you will continue to take the wrong jobs and date the wrong people.
Unfortunately the only way to discover what you need is by having it. For example, I didn’t add fun and tolerant to my list of dating requirements until I went on a date with a man who was neither. I didn’t add needing an office until I had a job with a cubical that was louder than a bar at happy hour.
We figure out what we like to do and what we need in a job by working. So take jobs for the experience. And when you realize you are in the wrong job or at the wrong company, get out. Don’t spend two years trying to convince yourself that your current situation is ok and could be what you want. It’s not.
You’ll make yourself sick trying to fit where you simply don’t. If it’s a collaborative culture and you see team as a four letter word, you will be unhappy. If you want to leave at five everyday and it’s a workaholic, face-time culture, you will be miserable. Miserable defined: You can’t be yourself. When we can’t be ourselves we fake it. And we can only fake it for so long.
Career management requires you to identify what you need and want in a company and in a job. Determine if you can get what you need at your current company. If you can, ask for it and then work hard to demonstrate that you deserve it. And if the job you want isn’t available at your current company, start looking for a place where you can find it. He isn’t the last man and you aren’t in the last job.
Hiring the Right People is the Most Important Thing Managers Do.
I serve as an HR resource for an 80-person, professional services firm. As a result I interview candidates for the company’s most senior roles. Last week the Managing Partner and I were having breakfast with a potential candidate who was being considered for a Partner role at the company. My client wants to retire in five years and is looking for the right person to whom to transition his book of business and in time, his share of the company. It’s a huge decision. He and his Partner started and grew this company. It’s their life work.
We asked the candidate why he wanted the job and how it fit into his career plan. And as he was talking, my client turned to him and said, “This decision is way more important to me than it is to you. You can make a mistake here. I can’t.” His comment was incredibly wise.
When a professional takes the wrong job, it’s a career blip – a disappointment and an inconvenience. It will surely impact the person’s self confidence and make him question his judgment. But unless it’s a habit or he stays in the wrong job for years, it’s not incredibly expensive or damaging. But making a hiring mistake, especially at the most senior level, is very expensive and very damaging to an organization. Training people is expensive, and each new hire impacts the company culture. Employees who come and go impact the remaining employees’ perceptions of the organization.
The right employees will be successful, in a box, under water, with their hands tied behind their backs. Without support, projects will take longer, but the right employees will succeed. The wrong employees – who either can’t do the work or don’t want to – won’t be successful no matter how long you spend coaching them or how much money you spend training them.
Hiring the right people is the most important thing managers. Yet most of us see hiring as a burden. It takes too long. We don’t have time. And perhaps we don’t know how.
As William Ury said in his book Getting to Yes, “Go slow to go fast.” Good hiring decisions are deliberate and disciplined. Disciplined hiring managers know exactly what they need and say no to candidates who can’t or won’t do those things. They follow interviewing best practices by asking behavioral questions and listening keenly for what’s said and not said. They watch body language – comfort and discomfort. They use scenario-based interviews, giving candidates a chance to demonstrate whether or not the candidate can do aspects of the job. And they do a mean reference check. But most importantly, disciplined, hiring managers don’t let an urgent need or fear of losing the headcount drive their decision making.
The company’s vision for the future and strategic plan drives hiring decisions and the pace of those decisions. Red flags are not ignored. “Maybe it will work out” or “I have some concerns, but we’ll see” result in declination letters. Good hiring decisions are disciplined, deliberate, patient and thorough.
“Go slow to go fast.”
